A battle with anorexia, through the eyes and emotions of the sufferer. The story takes a surreal angle on the battle with the condition
Sharp jagged edges, angles and points, that’s what the world sees. That’s what I’m judged on, but I see something different, I see a curve, a bump, a fold, a crease. What I see I hate, what I see I want flatten. What I see is not me.
It’s as if an alien, a beast, has infected my body, taken it over and is now controlling, turning my body against me, and only I can see.
Only I can see what it’s done; only I know the truth, only I know how to beat it.
Starve it out.
Simple plan.
And sometimes it works, like any battle there’s any good days and bad. Some days I’m on top, other days it has me beaten hands down.
Today I’m winning, nothing for 36 hours, no fuel for the beast, no ammunition for his battle. It’s a tiny victory, but a victory none the less.
When I step out of the bathroom my mother looks at me with a mixture of disgust and pity. She doesn’t understand. No one understands.
I can feel her eyes bore into my back, she wants to say something, I know she wants to say something, but I’ve heard all the words before they don’t have any effect anymore.
She just doesn’t understand…
Sharp jagged edges, angles and points, that’s what the world sees. That’s what I’m judged on, but I see something different, I see a curve, a bump, a fold, a crease. What I see I hate, what I see I want flatten. What I see is not me.
It’s as if an alien, a beast, has infected my body, taken it over and is now controlling, turning my body against me, and only I can see.
Only I can see what it’s done; only I know the truth, only I know how to beat it.
Starve it out.
Simple plan.
And sometimes it works, like any battle there’s any good days and bad. Some days I’m on top, other days it has me beaten hands down.
Today I’m winning, nothing for 36 hours, no fuel for the beast, no ammunition for his battle. It’s a tiny victory, but a victory none the less.
When I step out of the bathroom my mother looks at me with a mixture of disgust and pity. She doesn’t understand. No one understands.
I can feel her eyes bore into my back, she wants to say something, I know she wants to say something, but I’ve heard all the words before they don’t have any effect anymore.
She just doesn’t understand…