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(A long short story of 14546 words)

Trevor the Superhero Spider

Children's Humour

by Steve Way

Trevor is a superhero, however he is also a spider so his superhero powers are in proportion to his size. Trevor and his friends come to the aid of the owners of the house they all live in when Mr and Mrs Fairbanks are persecuted by Mr Bartson of Bartson Holdings U.K. (Ltd) and his heavies.

Trevor was a superhero. Not it must be said a superhero like other superheroes. You see despite his superpowers he could be crushed to death by a child stepping on him, or more likely a cat catching him in its claws or a sparrow hawk in its beak.

So by human standards Trevor was a bit of a superhero wimp. However if you happened to be a butterfly, bee, mouse or shrew you were likely to think that Trevor was wonderful as well as incredible.

You see Trevor was a superhero spider. He had powers beyond those of normal large British spiders. Most large British spiders have the ability to keep the numbers of flies in the house down and to scare most humans out of the room they are in. They can also put humans off having a bath, if they happen to be having a rest by the plughole (one of their favourite resting places).

For Trevor, the danger of being walked on by a child was fairly slim as he lived in a cottage with a pleasant elderly couple, Mr and Mrs Fairbanks. Mr and Mrs Fairbanks did have a daughter and indeed three grandchildren, effervescent with spider endangering energy but they all lived in Australia and showed little interest in visiting Britain. So Mr and Mrs Fairbanks saved up their pennies and went to visit their family about every two years, leaving the cottage to Trevor and his friends for three weeks. Actually the house always felt very empty without them, as it did when any of the other occupants of the house were away, or just asleep for the winter, like the dormice.

The danger from cats and birds of prey, on the other hand, was much greater. One cat and one sparrow hawk in particular passionately loathed and despised Trevor with deep, burning, fearsome hated.

The cat was unimaginatively called Marmalade by its owners. Only it seemed because it was ginger in colour, not because it was sweet in any way. Its animal name was Terror-Claws, which was a much more appropriate name for it. It actually lived in the cottage backing onto the house three doors down from the Fairbanks, however it terrorised the gardens of all the ring of houses that backed onto each other. Even the few other local cats were terrified of Terror-Claws. Most of the local humans, who could be so stupid in other ways, decided not to buy a cat themselves once they’d come across “Marmalade”. A few of the humans were even scared of her when she hissed at them, as she did at everyone apart from her owners and she only didn’t hiss at them because they fed her...

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